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Future Fat

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Still here, still gaining (slowly) [05 May 2009|07:37pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

It's been a while since I last time updated this, so here I am again. It's been hell of a winter/spring season for me - I haven't felt so tired in ages, maybe ever. Was (is) this some kind of depression - I don't know, but I'm slowly getting my strength back little by little. Luckily I have my holiday soon...

This "great tiredness" had effect on my appetite, too - unfortunately for worse. Right now it's also already better and I'm making my "holiday gaining plan", but it has delayed my goals - last time I updated this in January, I was 78 kg's. Now I'm only 80 - which is good, but I honestly wanted to be much more nearer, maybe even over 90 kg's by now. But now I just have to make it up and eat even harder - I gotta be way over 100 kg's before December.

Start: 68 kg's (149 lbs)
Now: 80 kg's (176 lbs)

Gained so far: 12 kg's (27 lbs)

Goal #1: 100 kg's (220 lbs) -> 20 kg's (44 lbs) left
Goal #2: 120 kg's (264 lbs) -> 40 kg's (88 lbs) left
Goal #3: 136.4 kg's (300 lbs) -> 56.4 kg's (124.08 lbs) left

Long term goal: 150 kg's (330 lbs) -> 70 kg's (154 lbs) to go...

My journey into fatness continues...

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Countdown (or -up in this case) [26 Jan 2009|11:48pm]
Start: 149 lbs (68 kg's)
Current: 172 lbs (78 kg's)
First milestone: 220 lbs (100 kg's) - 48 lbs (22 kg's) to go...

Long term goal: 330 lbs (150 kg's) by December 2013 - 158 lbs (72 kg's) to go...
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Gaining News 25/01/2009 [25 Jan 2009|03:53pm]
I'm finally over 75 kg's - 78 kg's at the moment. Wish it could be more already, but at least breaking 80 kg's again is only couple of kilos away. I'm definately looking chubbier now than few months ago, so my journey into fatness is going forward after all \o/. I'm really eager to get into real business with this gaining thing, 2009 will be the year of growing and fattening for me - that's for sure. Oat porrige is always useful if I can't afford anything else. I've already put 10 kg's in the past 4 months without really trying so I'll be damned if I can't broke 100 kg's (plus more) during this year. I have strong intention to be at least 150 kg's in December 2013 when I'm 30. That would be something to celebrate.

After years of dabbling and questioning it feels great to finally let my inner fatty free for good. No more dieting, no more doubting - I'm gonna be fat and that's it. Of course I still have many dilemmas in my personal life, but I won't let those thing affect my gaining anymore.

Any fattening tips are very much welcome!
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Small update [03 Nov 2008|11:56pm]
Very small indeed... it feels like I'm going nowhere right now. My weight is still under 75 kg's, but at least it doesn't show any signs of going down either. There's two main thing that are slowing my progress down; other is my crappy job, wich - along with everything else I loathe about that place - keeps me too active with all the lifting and staying on my feet whole day. Another is the ridiculous salary I get from that hellhole compared to the ever-rising price of having to live in our capital region. I just simply cannot afford anything extra.

If I only could find some sitting-job (well paid) so that I could spend all day snacking and eating. I just need to get over 100 kg's to really feel good.
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Getting into it [06 Oct 2008|11:49pm]
[ mood | calm ]

It's really amazing how much only two weeks rest from gym can do to your body... my belly is really starting to show and there's definately more fat around my midsection again. Of course my weight was already rising before this break, caused both by catching a cold and a holiday vacation, but I honestly didn't look this chubby 2 weeks ago. And it seems that my gut will be much bigger this time than what it was before - quite common phenomena, I think? Shit, in the spring I would never thought that I would say this, but damn it feels great to have some flab again! Looking the fact how easily and eagerly my body seems to store fat, there's now doubt anymore that becoming fat is really my destiny. Cool!

I can't really describe how liberating feeling this is - to finally let myself have the body I've always wanted deep inside, even when I was in the diet mood. To have it all: big gut, lovehandles that spread to my back, moobs, double chin - just perfect!

More later

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Back! [05 Oct 2008|03:25pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

It's been a while, but I'm back and gaining - again. I know I've told this before, but this time it will be for good. I feel I've finally gotten over that social pressure bullshit that too long prevented me from being and becoming the (fat) person I really feel I am.

When I was gaining last time, I managed to get as high as 200 lbs (91 kg's), but then - well, let's call it "The Last Big Doubt" happened when one of my friends (at the time) kinda "brainwashed" me to start fitness program - and as result, I lost all the weight I managed to gain and went back to 149 lbs (68 kg's). While everybody congratulated me for such a drastic makeover, I never really got into it properly - how could I? Every now and then I still visited various gaining sites and wished I could become fat again. But when I got into that mess, it was very hard to try to step out of it - we went to same gym occasionally, were at same job and his attitude towards fat people was typical "ha-ha-ha, look at that blob" style. He's the kind of person, that is easy to be friends with at first and later, when you know for longer while, person you can't stand at all. And I - well, I don't want to give my whole history here, but I've had very hard times in the past. Times that left me with almost non-existent self-esteem and overloaded self-conciousness, not to speak of that my social circles were very small. After that, you don't just push friends away no matter what kind of assholes they really are - and because of that, you become just a joke in return.

But well, times have changed - I've had time to deal with those past issues during this year and "friend" moved on to new challenges - after that our communications have faded, more or less intentionally from both sides. At the same time I've finally managed to strengthen my self-esteem to the point that I rather am alone than with the people that demands me to mold my self to fit in with. Either you accept the new fattening me or fuck off, it's as simple as that. I want to be fat, I've always wanted to get fat so fat will I get - otherwise I just keep on running a circle.

So, let the challenge begin.

Start: 149 lbs (68 kg's)
Now: 159 lbs (72 kg's)
1st milestone: 220 lbs (100 kg's)

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Time to start (again) [20 Aug 2007|07:43pm]
[ mood | confused ]

For long time, I've been having this urge to grow myself big - but in a fat way. I dream/hope of being at least 300-350 lbs happy fatboy with sagging jiggly gut and moobs, double chin, big butt and a huge appetite.

Then there's my social life - still on quite uneasy ground after 10 years of bullying in pre-school/school and the hard process of getting over it. I just never want to alienate myself from having normal social life anymore, like I was forced back in then. Today I have few friends, mostly from work - some closer, some more distant.

Even in this crossfire I´ve managed to get from 147 lbs to 200 lbs in about 3 years, with the weight I've losed I would propably be around 220-230 at least by now. And I like the results, how I'm growing. But still...

One thing is for sure, this urge keeps getting back no matter I try to shredd it. So, I think it's time to write down my thoughts around this subject.

If you fellow gainers have any good advices, they're very welcome.

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